Friday, April 29, 2011

Thinking, Analyzing, & Worrying

I am trying to make things happen and in the process I am worrying a lot. Sleeplessness invades my nights, I toss and I a turn, playing every scenario over in my head. I am worried about money. I am worried that I will not find a job. I worry that I am not good enough. I worry about the house. I think about the paint on the house. I think about the floors in the house. I think about who will buy the house. I think about the windows in the house. I think a lot about the house! I think a lot about a host of things, whom will I marry? Is my car going to make it another year? I just want to stop thinking!

I try to stop thinking, so I talk to God. But talking to God doesn’t stop my thinking.

Echoes of angels beckon me, rest it is the Sabbath. And then I realize, I ONLY HAVE ONE RESPONSIBILITY AND THAT IS TO KNOW GOD, NOTHING COULD MATTER MORE! All of the things I worry about, are things I want to do for God. It is not my responsibly to make any of these things happen. I just have to surrender. Sometimes I get too consumed in what I want to offer God, that I forget to just spend time with Him.

“To obey God, we must love Him, and to know Him, we must spend time with Him, at His feet learning who He really is.

The better we know God, the more we will love Him, the more we love Him, the better we will serve Him. Genuine service for God can only spring from a genuine knowledge of Him.” –Doug Batchelor

Monday, April 11, 2011

Progress & Surprise

The past feels safe, while the future always tends to entertain uncertainty. I feel it, right now! I feel insecure and unsure about my immediate future. I wonder will I secede at flipping and selling another house? Will I find a job? Will I have enough money? How will I move from this moment to the next? I close my eyes, trying to recreate and cling to moments in my mind when I felt sureness and confidence. I think about Prague, Florida Hospital, and academy. I think about summer camp and colporteuring. And in this moment, I realize that none of these experiences were secure or sure at the time, they are only safe now because I have lived them. We have nothing to fear for the future, except, as we shall forget the way the Lord has led us, and His teaching in our past history. “ Life Sketches, 196

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Out of the noise generated by a multitude of travelers waiting about the vast waiting room of the Sacramento Train Station comes a announcement echoing over the public address system: “May I have your attention…please…Amtrak California Zephyr…train 6…scheduled to depart at 11:09 A.M. for Salt Lake City, Denver, Omaha, Chicago and intermediate points…is ready for boarding on track 2!”

I am fond of traveling by train. Trains have alluring names like: Broadway Limited, Coast Starlight, and Empire Builder. There is a certain romance to it that can’t be found in flying, especially with today’s pesky TSA agents and airlines every scheming plans to charge for basic services.

As I say good-bye to Lance, I think to myself, he most definitely is my worst best friend ever! But he is also my best friend. It is strange how a person can fill both of those parts in my heart, at the same time. Boarding the train, I also realize, I am wearing the same outfit I wore the day Emily and I left Lincoln, ironic huh?

Crime Never Pays

While in Old Sacramento, Lance got a parking ticket for $42.50. Ironically, we arrived just as the officer was issuing the ticket.

The previous day, we were at the county courthouse. Lance had gotten a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. His defense was that he was from Wisconsin and was unfamiliar with the law. The judge was kind and reduced the ticket from $208 to $128.

Lance claims that he is the sole source of revenue for the State of California. Prior to these “donations, ” Lance also generously gave towards two speeding tickets during his tenor of California residency.

Saturday, April 9, 2011


Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, April 7, 2011

i am going to blow up.

today, lance had to work at the nursing home in sacramento. i am at the mercy of him--he got the car and I got the feet. so I walk around the facility and now I have been sitting in his office all day long. I have been in front of my computer all day long and I am bored out of my mind. it's like, last week we had scheduled everything down to single interesting minutes, and today i'm like seriously sick of minutes. i hope lance gets done soon. i'm about to blow up.

see how history repeats its self in sac, click here!

Sunday, April 3, 2011


I am in Sacramento.

Lance is the administrator of an assisted living facility but lets just be real, it’s basically a nursing home! He made me pull weeds for an hour and a half when I fist got here. He was a co-laborer for about an hour. The other 30 minutes, he was “checking on other employees.”

This just adds to the ever expanding evidence that Lance is my worst best friend, ever!!!

Talking About Books

We have traveled from sea to shining sea, traversing some of the most beautiful terrain in the world, covering almost half of this glorious country. We have presented in daycares, academies, churches, universities, high schools, elementary schools, nursing homes, and in the comfort of individuals homes.

We have stayed in marvelous houses, humble apartments, mansions with gates and guards, farmhouses, chalets, homes on the beach, abodes in hills, and dwellings in the desert. In Nebraska we made snow angels. In Oklahoma, we castrated calves. While in Georgia we cut the leg of our pants and threw our shoes into the Atlantic, only to repeat it again in the Pacific. In Arizona we picked grapefruit. While in Mexico we ate tacos. In California we rode tandem and sea kayaked. We have stayed in company of consulates, teachers, students, auditors, farmers, administrators, and entrepreneurs.

The lives we live, they are all so different, but yet they are all connected. In many ways we aren’t all that different. We all feel love and pain. All of us hope and we are all searching to find something to put that hope into. We are all void and we all need a Savior.

Yeo SLO!

It is 11pm, I hear Randy in the bedroom next to me making his wife, Lynnette laugh. She laughs like it is the fist time she has met Randy, but I know its not, their children are just as old as I. In the hallway there is a picture of the first time they met, as juniors in academy. I don’t speculate that they have been far from each other since that moment.

I am intrigued by their life together. I don’t know many people that married their high school sweet heart. It seems to be the trend today, to wait. Some of us wait to graduate; others wait to start their career. Like, maybe many of you, I am waiting too, anxiously believing that there is this perfect person out there, which is also waiting for me. In the waiting, I am afraid that we are missing out on the joy of growing together.

I think the idea of this perfect person is foolish! No matter who you are with, they will never measure up to that imaginary person you are determined to compare them with. The unreal idea that there are countless options out there, coupled with readily available information about all the candidates is overwhelming. In reality maybe the perfect person, only becomes just that, when you make the commitment to spend the rest of your life with them?