Thursday, February 24, 2011

Stick It To The Man: Take Two



I quite my job today and then tried to burn my apron in the parking lot.

To ensure that the apron would catch on fire, Emily and I stopped at the gas station, dosing the apron with gasoline. Arson is a lot harder then it looks! I think that maybe the apron was flame retardant?

It didn't work, so we went to my parents house to get more gasoline and another lighter. It was hard and cold. My attempts were failing. Emily was nervous. In desperation, I continue flicking at the lighter. The fames ignite! I feel the flames on my hand. Emily is screaming, "they are writing down my license plate!" I jump in the car, thinking well then we need to get out of here! Unsatisfied with my response, Emily shrills, "what are you doing? Put the fire out!"

Stomping on the fire, we leave the parking.

9 comments:

tatiana said...

That is awesome. I respect you. When are you going to be mayor?

Ben Schnell said...

the spirit was there, even if the fire was relunctant

Ben Schnell said...

shoot, I spelled reluctant wrong

JannaB. said...

haha.. That's hillarious! Hopefully no one from work saw you so if you get back and realize you need a job you could go back . . . again. ;)

BrittanyK said...

its been awhile since i've heard one of your stories...you didn't let me down.

TaraB said...

I laughed OUT LOUD when I read this! I can TOTALLY see this playing out. Totally. This is hysterical and a wonderful story. You, my friend, are off to a great start. That Home Depot, man. They are LEGIT. Flame retardant aprons? Really? They don't mess around.

Amy P said...

haha I told you they were plastic :)

An A for effort though!

kessia reyne said...

Yes, I agree with Ben: The spirit was there, even in if the fire was reluctant.

Thank you for that laugh-out-loud moment.

Emily Star said...

Dylan, you're awesome. This is so funny now, even if I was pissed then. :)